The Living Waters

The Psych Care Group
David Swarthout, MA, LICSW
1516 West Lake Street, Suite 226
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55408
Office: (612) 823-7735
Fax: (612) 823-6090
E-Mail: dswarty@aol.com

BACKGROUND DATA:

In the context of her ministry as an Episcopalian priest, Rev. Patricia Gillespie has the responsibility to provide services to four different congregations in Central Minnesota. She warmly welcomes the work God has chosen for her - to provide spiritual guidance and to provide leadership for these communities of faith in small rural towns.

She has been a vocal advocate for the spiritual needs of all people in the rural communities , particularly those who feel they have been hurt by the church. In the context of her work, it came to her attention that there were a number of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans-gendered (GLBT) folks living in these small communities who lack a voice of their own and feel like they have been "left out in the cold", from a spiritual perspective. They can travel to the Twin Cities for social opportunities but in their own hometowns, they needed encouragement, healing and the knowledge that they are indeed loved by God.

When Rev Gillespie came to Bishop Jelinek to talk about her proposal for the Living Waters Ministry, she was pleased by his concern and compassion toward a group that has remained largely invisible to many other religious leaders in the past. The Living Waters was originally designed as a team ministry, utilizing the gifts of a number of members of the GLBT Community and regional clergy to generate a grass roots endeavor. Their objective was multidimensional: 1) to offer spiritual counseling to all of God's children; 2) to conduct some community building within the GLBT community itself; 3) to provide GLBT affirmative worship opportunities on a weekly basis in Central Minnesota; 4) to conduct "consciousness raising" among existing faith communities to challenge them to warmly welcome all who seek to worship God, including GLBT people; 5) to offer workshops and retreats to facilitate the healing process for GLBT people; 6) to begin an open dialogue with church leadership about the spiritual needs of GLBT people living in rural communities; and 7) to use 21st century communication methods (the Internet) to reach a larger GLBT audience in Central Minnesota.

The Living Waters Ministry was originally approved by Bishop Jelinek to provide a spiritual ministry to gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans-gendered persons living in Central Minnesota. He asked for and received a five year commitment from Rev Gillespie to give this new ministry sufficient time to germinate, grow and blossom.

 GROWTH AND DIRECTION

In each of the seven objectives noted above, Rev Gillespie has met with surprising levels of success and support.

• 1) Spiritual Counseling
  From the beginning, many people approached Rev Gillespie because she has always spoken out as an advocate of the goodness and richness of all people in the eyes of God. Consequently, many people have used her as an initial contact person to help them sort out problems that they have experienced attempting to reconciling their sexuality with their spiritual beliefs. At least three people per week contact Rev. Gillespie via e-mail to seek specific guidance about how to live lives of dignity and respect as GLBT Christians. In addition to phone calls and e-mail messages, it has become rather commonplace for people who are frightened to show up as Rev Gillespie is packing up her station wagon after a Sunday evening worship service for individual counseling.

• 2) Community Building
  Community building within the GLBT community is one of the reasons for this discernment and evaluation process. In the beginning, momentum built to the point that one particular gathering yielded a crowd of more than 60 people. We can safely assume that Rev. Gillespie's charismatic personality and her talents as a eucharistic celebrant are a large part of the attraction. As with many new organizations, there is often an individual who works diligently behind the scene initially. In this instance Rev. Gillespie is the "Wizard of Oz" in the background, yet there is no one standing up from the community itself to take responsibility for the coordination of events. During those times when Rev. Gillespie has attempted to delegate some of the responsibilities for organizing events, the volunteers have failed to take action. Rather than disappoint her fifth congregation, she has quietly taken on the additional load. In the beginning , Living Waters was meant to become an ecumenical effort with responsibilities shared by a number of clergy and lay leaders. With dwindling numbers in the past few months (winter) she felt uncomfortable asking another cleric to drive 150 miles to celebrate a gathering that might only have 3-5 attenders. Consequently, she became the organizer, the celebrant, the homilist, the spiritual counselor and the janitor.

  One expectation within a community effort like this is for it to become self-sustaining. At this point there are some serious questions to be asked. Is the community ready to be organized? Have they been informed about what efforts are necessary to bring a weekly eucharistic celebration to four different locations, or to organize a retreat, or to plan an after-eucharist community discussion? It is quite natural for Rev. Gillespie to feel that sense of attachment to her ministry. Her parishioners are young, old, fragile, hurt, lonely and hungry for spiritual food. In fact, many of them are starving.

• 3) GLBT Affirmative Worship
  The numbers who initially attended eucharistic celebrations and the social gatherings which followed were quite impressive. Between July 1 of 1998 and March 1 of 1999, over 365 people attended gatherings at St John's Episcopal Church in St Cloud, at St Luke's Episcopal Church in Willmar, at the Episcopal Church of Our Savior in Little Falls and at the Episcopal Church of the Good Samaritan in Sauk Centre. The largest gathering to date was on the Feast of all Saints where people were invited to gather for a eucharistic celebration dressed as their favorite saint. It was followed by a concert by a touring Christian musical group. The turnout was about 60 people. In the beginning, a turnout of about 12-15 people each week at the eucharistic gathering was commonplace. As the winter months arrived, the numbers shrunk to the point of occasionally having only the priest and musician in attendance. With the arrival of beautiful weather, the problem of small attendance is persisting. It is quite possible that the split between four different locations is responsible in part for this decreased in attendance. It is also possible that the lack of expectations among members of the community has lessened each person's individual commitment to regular attendance.

  One visible statistic worth noting is that the largest numbers attend services in St Cloud. Perhaps the next step is to re-adjust the worship schedule and limit services to St Cloud. If services were held one or two times per month in a central location, it might become ingrained in the minds of the community that the 1st or 2nd and 4th Sunday is the GLBT Christian worship service at St John's Episcopal Church in St Cloud.

• 4) Consciousness Raising
  When this ministry formed, Rev Gillespie decided to address the issue of GLBT people feeling unwelcome in many worshiping communities. The same dialog was begun in each of the four churches which currently host the Living Waters Ministry. Surprisingly, a large number of the congregants stated that welcoming GLBT people is the right Christian thing to do. Those who were opposed were welcome to talk about their beliefs but majority ruled and four different communities let the GLBT community that they were welcome to attend Living Waters gatherings or the larger services in each respective community. The welcoming was not a hollow gesture and each community was faced with confronting their own biases, judgements and internalized discomfort about homosexuality.

  In the process of conducting "consciousness raising" among the existing faith communities about becoming more open and affirming of all God's children, the longstanding separation & segregation between the lesbian and gay communities in Central Minnesota were also targeted for opening hearts and putting aside their differences. Suffice to say, conflict was not limited to the proposed host congregations. The objective was not conflict, but rather the beginning of a dialogue. Whether behind the scenes or out in public, people in Central Minnesota started talking about opening hearts and doors as a result of the Living Waters Ministry.

• 5) Retreats and Bible Study
  The spiritual needs of GLBT people in rural Minnesota are quite simple. They need to believe that they are loved by God, by their families & neighbors and by themselves. While the needs are simple, it is imperative to understand that many GLBT people have been hurt by spiritual communities, by religious leaders and by society in general. Consequently, before the needs get addressed, some substantive healing needs to take place. This sort of in-depth work can take place in a variety of ways, but it is a process. Whether it is quiet conversation in the pastor's study or in the parking lot after Sunday service or a lively dialogue at the coffee shop in downtown St Cloud, the process has to start someplace. Once the dialogue has begun, relearning the lessons of faith and finding something new to hang onto enables many people to start letting go of the hurts, judgements and resentments that have piled up in their lives. Thus far, retreats have always been filled to capacity.

  In response to a request for some training about how to defend against biblical attacks from religious conservatives, Rev Gillespie used this as an opportunity to start a Bible Study group. Her objective was to go beyond the formation of a defensive strategy to a broader understanding about how God works in the lives of his children.

• 6) Spiritual Leadership
  This evaluation is in part about the work of Rev. Patricia Gillespie. She has taken a rather risky step in challenging towns, worshiping communities, newspaper publishers, other religious leaders, GLBT community members, families, colleges & universities and even her own family, to look at the inherent dignity and value of each human being in the eyes of God. She is an inspiration. She has taken the additional risk of revealing details about her own personal struggles with sexuality in an effort to let people know that we lose a great deal when we attempt to hide the light of our own souls under a bushel. The risk was that people might not like her or that she might lose her credibility by sharing her own humanity with us. But that did not happen.

  Rev. Gillespie started this discernment process deep in her own soul. One of the things she found was that she needs to share the responsibility for being the spiritual leader of this small and vulnerable congregation. When any organization becomes overly identified with a particular individual, both the organization and the individual lose a piece of their identity. Over the past year, Rev Gillespie has preached at 76 % off all gatherings and presided at 76 % of the gatherings. As we look at streamlining the worship opportunities, this is an important time to think about integrating other religious and lay leaders to take a more active role in this ministry in one centralized location. Perhaps that means each priest/minister or lay leader recruits their friends or members of their own congregation to join this new ministry in celebrating the diversity of God's creation.

• 7) 21st Century Communication - Internet Web Pages
  The Living Waters Ministry is a dynamic attempt to reconcile Christianity with sexuality. Carrying a message in the 21st century requires the utilization of every medium available and Rev Gillespie has well used her talents in designing a web page on the Internet that is user friendly, informative, hopeful and entertaining. If you missed her sermon last week, don't worry. You can read it in the privacy of your home or during a break at work on-line. In response to a request from a small group of GLBT youth, she has been working on some programming ideas to alert GLBT youth to affirmative ways to develop their Christian faith. She delivers a message of faith, hope and love that has touched the lives of people around the country through this amazing communication tool. She has received invitations from GLBT publications to write more about how Christian faith and a GLBT identity are not incompatible after all.

According to Rev Gillespie, "The GLBT community in Central Minnesota came to me in the beginning in search of spiritual care and support. Since I am an Episcopalian, that means doing eucharist. That is what we do - that is how we celebrate in a spiritual sense."

Without hesitation, Rev. Gillespie has undertaken a challenging assignment - to provide an undefined service to a poorly organized population living in a wide and varied geographical area. She has followed God's calling, and did so with the blessings, encouragement and support of her Bishop. According to statistical data available from 7-1-98 through 3-1-99, she has reached 365 GLBT people directly through eucharistic celebrations and the social gatherings which often follow the service. She has reached an additional 100 or so through individual counseling and e-mail dialogue. It is difficult to estimate, but somewhere in the vicinity of 3,756 have logged onto the Living Water's web page on the Internet from 7-1-98 to the present, an average of 313 per month. Despite the number of people who have been touched directly and indirectly by this ministry, Rev. Gillespie perceives that momentum has waned and she wants some advice and direction about how to proceed from here.

Rev Gillespie feels the need for discernment. She asks herself if she is following the will of God in this ministry, if the people's needs are being served, if they will they survive any changes that occur, and, if are they ready to become more organized? These are thought provoking questions. Beneath these questions are some ideas that she wants to institute which we discussed in some detail.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

• 1. Spiritual Counseling
  Counseling with individuals is essential to help them understand that they are loved, that their hurts are recognized & validated. Working with a population that has felt marginalized or been abused does raise some compelling issues about how far to go and where do you draw the line between spiritual and psychotherapeutic? It is common practice among psychotherapists to seek regular clinical supervision about difficult cases, cases which affect you on a personal level and cases where you feel unable to help a client any further. I strongly suggest forming a set of guidelines about what types of issues you feel comfortable addressing under the guise of spiritual counseling and what sorts of issues require a referral to another professional with more in-depth training in that area. To clarify the scope of the relationship, it is advised to share these guidelines with a client during the first session - whether it be online or in person. I also suggest the idea of clinical supervision to help keep your work in perspective.

• 2. Community Building
  Rev Gillespie is a very bright, vivacious, articulate and sensitive woman with very astute perceptions. If she believes that the community many not be ready for organizing, I trust the accuracy of her observation. What I might offer as a suggestion is to suggest that in the future when a group gathers to celebrate, ask each individual to bring along a friend or family member. This needs to be someone they trust or have confided in, in the past. In the process of building community, we sometimes fail to include the people who are already close to us. If each person brought friend to each worship service and that person brought a friend to the next service, the church would soon be full of people who are already knowledgeable about how to be welcoming and affirming. This may also be an opportunity to get the GLBT youth at local colleges and universities involved in the process of building a GLBT community of faith.

• 3. GLBT Affirmative Worship
  The weekly eucharistic liturgies are sparsely attended. There are a number of hypotheses about why this happened but the important consideration is how worship services can be used to build community. So the issue becomes one of quality and quantity. It makes sense at this point in time to transition to a monthly eucharistic celebrations at the location most strongly attended in the past - at St John's Episcopal Church in St Cloud. The more people in attendance at any of these gatherings, the greater the likelihood that some sense of belonging will arise.

  Rev Gillespie is very concerned about those folks who drive by the churches and are too frightened to go inside, some only show up after all the others have left for individual counseling. There is a significant safety issue involved with any professional person providing counseling services in a church parking lot at night. The thought of reaching those who are so frightened is really laudable but maintaining a sparsely attended worship service for the benefit of someone who might stop by may lead the leader of this community to get discouraged about her undertaking. If you create something warm and inviting, people will follow.

• 4. Consciousness Raising
  One of the largest annual events for the GLBT community in Minnesota each year is the GLBT Pride Celebration in Minneapolis. Rev Gillespie is planning on having a booth at the celebration in late June to share with the community the changes she is considering. This will be a great opportunity for her to take the pulse of her target audience. It may also be an opportunity to reach some new people in Central Minnesota or to encourage students from MN colleges and universities to consider a monthly trek to St Cloud to share their Christian faith.

• 5. Retreats and Bible Study
  This may be an area to focus attention to build momentum again. Retreats provide a focused opportunity to plant some seeds. The real challenge is to include a maintenance portion whereby these people have an opportunity to gather on a weekly basis for some focused sharing. This is a commitment of time but not necessarily for the person who led the retreat, This is a great opportunity to pair up with someone else to assist in putting on the retreat and to organize an ongoing spiritual support group.

• 6. Spiritual Leadership
  The future of this ministry rests on the premise that leadership must be a shared responsibility. This may be a good time to call a meeting of all the people who have participated in preaching and celebrating services in the past to brainstorm about how to jumpstart this ministry. This may be a good time to reach out to the campus ministry folks at local colleges and universities to see it they are willing to lend support to better serve the spiritual needs of GLBT Christian youth. With a monthly eucharistic celebration, it is quite possible that others will be more eager to help share the burden.

• 7. 21st Century Communication - Internet Web Pages
  This portion of the ministry is quite unique and seems to be very inspiring to Rev. Gillespie. Despite the suggested transitions, I will urge Rev Gillespie to keep her weekly sermons available online as a way for those too frighted to reach out or people who live in remote areas to maintain a lifeline with a voice of reason in the midst of the storm. The idea of a cyberspace ministry for youth may be resurrected in the near future. The recommended changes in the Living Waters Ministry will quite likely free up some time to pursue more writing and further development of the web page ministry.

Rev. Patricia Gillespie has worked diligently to follow the plan originally approved by Bishop Jelinek. The fact that there are some proposed alterations in the general design of the ministry are simply testaments to the nature of the community being served. There is no doubt about the need for spiritual direction and leadership for this community. Perhaps the greatest realization reached in the past year is that using the word "community" may be premature for the people served thus far by the Living Waters Ministry.

Respectfully Submitted,

David Swarthout, MA
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker

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