A Sermon for the Sixteenth Sunday after Pentecost
The Rev. Patricia A. Gillespie
Ecclesiasticus 27:30-28:7
Psalm 103
Romans 14:5-12
Matthew 18:21-35
"And in anger the Lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do it to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart."
This is not good news for those of us who have trouble forgiving.
Sue went to her pastor because she had long-term resentments that she held against the men in her life. Her father had greatly favored her brother and had given him the family business. Her brother offered her a menial job in the family business after she divorced. Her former husband was wonderfully successful with a huge income but nickled and dimed the child support and alimony paid to her. Her sons resented the divorce and constantly told their mother how much they wanted to go live with their dad.
In short, she was angry and resentful. And what was worse, the reason she was angry and resentful was because she was paying attention, had carefully analyzed her situation -- and was right!
Her pastor listened carefully and said, "You are really justified in being angry. What is being angry doing to you?"
Sue poured out a litany of pains, health problems, loneliness, and depression. Forgiveness was offered as a possibility. She was unable, or unwilling, to forgive. The men in her life did not change their way of behaving toward her. Her health and well being continued in a downward spiral, even though she was totally justified in her anger.
We have in us a need for vindication when we are injured. There are disciplines in law and equity for assessing responsibility for injury, for assessing the degree of damage that an injury has done, and for determining payment to restore the damage. But, no one who has ever gone through a difficult lawsuit leaves satisfied. There's even that bumper sticker that says, "Don't get mad, get even!"
It may be that the way most of us imitate God is by claiming that "vengeance is ours," contrary to what God said. Perhaps that torture described in the text is just what happens to us when we refuse to forgive. The choice seems to be whether we will be right and miserable, wrong and miserable, or whether we will be forgiving and happy.
There are some very clear words about this from Jesus that we all know: "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors," or in the familiar translation, "Forgive our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."
The path to joy and peace is forgiveness. It seems to work this way: First, when we forgive we join with God in doing one of God's essential works. Doing the will and work of God brings fulfillment to our lives. Second, forgiveness brings peace to our relationships.
But just think about what happens when forgiveness doesn't happen. When I refuse to forgive someone who has hurt me, who is hurt most by the lack of forgiveness? What does holding on to a grudge, even a justifiable one, do to a person? The unforgiving person becomes bitter, narrow, and probably miserable.
In the original language of the New Testament, the word we usually translate as "forgive" also means "let go." So forgiving is to let go of the grudge, to stop focusing on how badly someone has wronged you or on how right you are. Why spend so much time carrying around that burdensome hurt? Let it go, today's gospel tells us, or risk torturing yourself until the debt is paid.
Let it go, knowing that as we let go of the ways others have sinned against us, God also lets go of our sins -- seven or seventy or seventy times seven.
God has lifted from us the burden of our sins. When we stop burdening ourselves with the sins of others, that's what the kingdom of heaven is like.
The greater part of the sermon was prepared by the Rev. Canon Hugh Magers, Officer for Evangelism for the Episcopal Church.