"How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly." The Jews want to know: Is Jesus the one who will save them? Jesus responds: "I have told you, and you did not believe."

Sometimes words aren't enough. Sometimes they seem to add to the confusion. But Jesus has more: "The works that I do in my Father's name testify to me." Seeing's believing. Right?

On Wednesday, I was at Churchill Downs. It certainly wasn't "Real Quiet" then -- the celebrations for Derby Week were well underway in Louisville. There was a race on Wednesday too: Not a horse race, but the Great Steamboat Race between the Belle of Louisville and the Delta Queen. Like the preparations for the Derby, the suspense was building. Who will be the winner? -- Tell us plainly.

I happened to have come into Louisville aboard the Delta Queen. So I -- and all those on the boat, both crew and passengers -- told everyone plainly that the Delta Queen is the faster boat. But then everyone in Louisville made the same claim for the Belle of Louisville. So, since "seeing's believing" we waited for the race to see who's faster.

Now, you understand that in steamboat racing cheating is an art. One year someone from the Belle bribed the officials to shoot the starting cannon twenty minutes early. Since it takes at least an hour to build up steam before traveling, the Delta Queen never caught up with them. The next year a couple of deck hands from the Delta Queen just as the race was about to start tied the Belle's huge cables back to the shore. It's hard to win a race when you're tied to a tree.

But this year, everyone seemed on their good behavior. Well, my mother DID try to bribe the coast guard judge. And, the Belle DID start out a little early. But that's a bit difficult to judge because the start & finish line is a bridge across the river that goes diagonally across; so the starting line for one boat is ahead of the same starting line for the other. To make it "fair," the boats change sides when they turn around. That way one boat has a short trip upriver and a long trip downriver; and the other has a long trip upriver and a short trip downriver.

The Belle got to start on the north or short side. So we were always behind her (BUT CATCHING UP) on the upriver trip. At the turnaround point, the Belle cheated and got a tow boat to push her around the turn. So the Delta Queen turned herself around right where we were -- downriver far short of the official turning point.

The Belle of Louisville tried to catch up. So the captain of the Delta Queen moved over to their now-south side of the river and cut them off so they had to follow in our wake. A concerned passenger asked the captain if that would disqualify us. The captain laughed and said, "We're probably disqualified already, but we're going to win."

Then the Belle of Louisville cut across behind us and came up on the north side of the river. That's the short side where the bridge is closer and where the Delta Queen was supposed to be. So even though we were ahead of her on the river, the Belle cheated and got under the bridge finish line first.

Seeing's believing. Right? The Belle went under the bridge first. So she's the faster boat.

I don't believe it. I KNOW the Delta Queen is faster. I believe that because I "belong" to the Delta Queen. Even when what we see appears to be a loss, the "home team" is still the best. "Our" horse or boat is still really the fastest. Fair play or cheating doesn't matter

But just what does "belonging" really mean. Being born in Louisville? Being born an Episcopalian? Choosing to travel on the Delta Queen? Choosing the Church of the Good Samaritan ? Why do you "belong" to a church? Many of us might answer, "I belong because I believe." If we didn't believe, we probably wouldn't belong.

But Jesus turns it around -- "You do not believe because you do not belong to my sheep." Or -- if you belong to Jesus, you believe. We are believers not because of some accomplishment of our own but because we belong to Jesus. Other parts of Scripture also suggest that faith is a gift, not something we are able to get for ourselves.

But what if we don't have always have that gift of belief -- then do we not belong? The scary part is not belonging. What if WE are those who don't belong to Jesus' sheep. What if we are like those Jews, who don't belong, who can't hear Jesus' voice and follow him? Are we then cut off from eternal life? Who are these people that we hear about in our reading from the Acts of the Apostles -- those who did not recognize Jesus or the words of the prophets about him?

It's easy to think that we are not like them, to think that we're "home free" simply because we are here -- we belong to a Christian church & we believe. Surely that makes us sheep of the Good Shepherd. But then I think about all the times I've failed to recognize Jesus or failed to hear his voice and follow him. Oh, nothing as obvious as river boat cheating, but still places I've fallen short, or missed the mark -- that's literally what the Bible calls sin.

There was the time I didn't recognize Jesus' face in the tears and loneliness of a widowed friend. And how often have I failed to follow the Shepherd when he walks among the outcasts of society. I wonder how many other times the Shepherd has spoken & I didn't hear his voice?

Now, I confess that I tend to be a pretty rebellious and independent sheep. Too often I think I belong to myself instead of to Jesus. But even when I want most desperately to believe and belong, the Shepherd's voice isn't always clear to me. So I study the Bible. I pray. And still sometimes I feel like the disbelieving Jews and I want to say, "How long will you keep me in suspense. Tell me plainly."

Tell me what I'm supposed to believe. Tell me what you want me to do. I want the answer to be simple. You tell me which horse will win. I'll place my bet there.

And there are lots of races: Should I be for or against the death penalty? What about euthanasia? Or abortion, or genetic manipulation? Jesus, How long will you keep us in suspense? Tell us plainly. And most of all, tell me that I belong. Tell me because I'm afraid I might not belong. How can I belong when I know there are times I'm not sure what to believe or what to do?

Jesus, tell us plainly who belongs to your sheep?

"After this I looked, and there was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the Lamb, robed in white ... Who are these? ... These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."

The Good Shepherd and the Lamb, like the Father and the Son, are

Following the Shepherd/Lamb is not easy -- at times it is an ordeal. We all, like sheep, have gone astray: We don't always hear his voice; we don't always know what to believe. Our wool gets dirty, tangled, and matted with twigs; our robes are filthy. We don't look like we belong with the Good Shepherd.

But seeing's not always believing. We don't look like the Shepherd's sheep, but then a miracle happens: The Shepherd/Lamb washes us in his own blood and we are robed in white. The Shepherd/Lamb claims us as his own -- all of us, from every tribe people and language those who look like winners and those who look like losers.

We all belong to the Good Shepherd and we claim and celebrate that belonging in baptism -- when we are cleansed and made one in Christ.

Remember that In Christ there is no longer Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female. In Christ horse racers & river boat cheaters, outcasts & residents of Jerusalem, wandering & confused sheep, even wolves & pharisees -- all belong to the Good Shepherd.

Because, as today's reading reminds us, "by this Jesus everyone who believes is set free from all those sins from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses."

The Lamb can wash everyone clean. All belong to the Good Shepherd. All can hear his voice if we listen. And when we sheep are confused and lost, even when we may forget whose sheep we are, the Shepherd does not let us go, but follows us and calls us to follow him to eternal life.

So tell us plainly, who's the winner? The hard workers? the cheaters? The white robes? the dirty wool? Who gets the prize of a lifetime?

I'm placing my bet on the Sheep that belong to the Lamb.

I have always had lots of questions. I once had a Sunday School teacher who told me that it was wrong to ask questions and have doubts. So I asked yet another question: "Is God afraid of my questions and doubts?" I came to realize that God's not afraid but my teacher sure was.

Doubt is not the great enemy of faith that we sometimes think it is. Doubt is not the opposite of faith. In fact, doubt can be a friend to faith. Doubts and questions can actually help us grow as Christians just as Thomas did in today's gospel.

We sometimes think doubt is the opposite of faith because we confuse it with UNBELIEF. Doubt is not unbelief. Unbelief is a stubborn refusal or unwillingness to believe. It is saying, "I WILL NOT believe." But doubt is being confused or unsure what to believe. Doubt says, "I'm not sure what to believe." Unbelief is closed to believing. Doubt is open to believing. Unbelief is choosing NOT to believe. Doubt is choosing WHAT to believe.

We can't avoid doubt. Everybody doubts. Everybody has questions. All of us have times when we are confused about what we should believe. This has been true of every Christian, even the greatest ones, down through the centuries. If you read their lives, you will see how they struggled with doubts and questions. There seems even to have been some question in the heart of Jesus when he cried out on the cross, "My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?"

We are all twins of "Doubting Thomas." He had lots of doubts and questions, and wasn't afraid to share them. And if you really look at the other disciples, you see that they too had their doubts and questions. They were just not as honest about them as Thomas was.

It's not wrong to havedoubts and questions. In fact, we're in some pretty good company when we express them. But not only does everybody have doubts, everybody also has faith. Life is not possible without faith. Each morning we wake up in faith that we will wake up, that the world will still be here, the sun still shining. And each night we go to sleep in faith that we will make it through the night. Without faith we would have no meaningful relationships with other people. We have to trust, to believe in others in order to have friendships. We have to have faith.

Everybody has this kind of elementary faith, the kind of faith that we all have to have in order to live. The Bible talks about another kind of faith, a deliberate trust and dependence on God. It is the faith that God loves us, is with us always, and leads us to want to live a life pleasing to God. This faith gives us a hunger and thirst for God, that is, a desire to get to know God better.

That's how doubts and questions can help us. If we let them, they will help us get closer to God. So faith and doubt walk hand in hand, like twins. Our faith God's gift to us. Our doubt is part of being human.

Part being human is being limited in what we can know and understand. If we knew everything about everything, we would never doubt anything! As it is, we cannot truthfully say that we know EVERYTHING about ANYTHING! Doubt is an expression of this limitedness, of our lack of complete knowledge. We certainly do not know everything about God. Some people think they do, but God is just too much for our limited minds.

Even the the greatest theologians like St. Augustine have their questions. Augustine was walking on the beach one day. He was struggling with his own question about the doctrine of the Trinity, that is, if we say we believe in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, then how can we say then that we believe in just one God? Augustine saw a little boy running to the ocean and filling up a sea shell with water, then taking it back and pouring it into a hole he had dug into the sand. "What are you doing my little man?" Augustine asked. The boy replied, "Oh, I trying to put the ocean in this hole."

Trying to fully understand God is like trying to put the ocean in a little hole in the sand. God is beyond our full comprehension. We doubt because we are limited. We don't understand everything. We don't know everything. Doubts, questions can help us. They encourage us to learn, to seek answers in prayer and study. They challenge us to grow in our understanding and knowledge. That's how doubt can help us.

Doubt is faith seeking to grow! FAITH can use DOUBT to nourish and strengthen itself. Our doubts and questions are signs of our faith, indications that your faith matters. Our doubts reveal how seriously we take our faith in God. Someone who doesn't care what they believe, isn't going to be bothered with doubts and questions. It is the Christian who has doubts and questions who will be stimulated to try to resolve those doubts and answer those questions. And in the process they will grow.

Don't be afraid that your doubts or questions will destroy your faith. They can only destroy a shallow, false faith. Christian faith is tough enough to withstand any doubt we may have. For two thousand years it has withstood every doubt and question hurled against it. I doubt if you can doubt anything that has not been doubted before.

So go ahead and ask: Is there really a God? Does it do any good to pray? Why should I go to church? If God is so good, then why is there so much evil in the world? Why do bad things happen to good people? What does a man who died 2000 years ago have to do with me? Are science and religion opposed to each other? . . .

But then, what do we do with all those questions? Here are a few suggestions:

• Write them out. Write down fully what you think and feel. Doesn't matter how they will sound or if someone will think you are a heretic that should be burned at the stake. Be honest. Write down your doubt or question.
• Pray it out. Read it out loud to God. Seek God's help in dealing with it. You are in good company when you do so.
• Study it out. Find books, magazines, whatever you need that address your doubt or question. Turn to the Bible. What does it say about it? Read what others have said about your doubt or question.
• Talk it out. Share your doubt or question with a friend, teacher, parent, minister, with someone you trust. Chances are they have struggled with the same thing and can give you the benefit of their experience.

Don't be afraid of your doubts. Look right at them and name them. Because when you reach out to touch your doubts, you may find Christ. And, like Thomas, your doubts may bring you to believing that through believing you may have life in Jesus' name.

*This sermon is undoubtedly indebted to The Rev. Bass Mitchell.