Genesis 32:3-8,22-30
2 Timothy 3:14-4:5
Luke 18:1-8a
Psalm 121
I was adopted after my birth family died when I was five years old. The family that adopted me was wealthy. We had all those "extra" forks every night at supper and cloth napkins were the norm. Yet, we hardly ever had shoes that fit properly. And there was little or no emotional investment in the children. Appearances were more important than children. That part of my youth was not a positive time for me. A message learned: look good.
My adoptive father was a deacon in the Roman Catholic Church and the rest of my adoptive family, filled the third pew on the epistle side of the church every Sunday morning.
The church building was old with an organ that was on its last "breaths," along with a leaky roof, loud clanging pipes and belching boilers. My adoptive father grew tired of hearing his wife complain about the gasping organ, so he wrote a check to the church for an organ - and only an organ. The other times that he was generous with the church were after he had been on a drinking binge with his brothers or when another child was born. The way I saw it, he was trying to buy his way to happiness, forgiveness and heaven. A message learned: buy God.
We children were not encouraged to put money in the collection plate. We were too busy taking our nickels and dimes to school as donations for "pagan babies." We were "buying" or paying for a "pagan baby" to be baptized. I never did figure out why it cost so much for baptismal water. And I never understood what made them pagan or how baptizing them would make them "regular" babies. A message learned: babies could be bought and winning contests was very important.
So between dining with crystal, linen and sterling; watching donations with attached strings; and "buying pagan babies" my ideas about money and God were really mixed up.
Eventually, I found a family that agreed to take me in. They took proper care of me and I started learning a lot of new things. My unofficial "foster" family was a young couple with a 6-year-old son living on teachers' salaries and paying back school loans. So money was tight.
Despite tight money, my foster parents took me in and loved me and treated me like their own. And they were never given any money for that. No one helped them with any of my expenses. They took me in on faith and trusted that it would be O.K. For years I thought they were really weird for doing that.
As an employed adult, I always tried to give a little something to the church B to help pay for the bread & wine and heat in the winter. But I only gave what was comfortable and what might be extra after everything else was taken care of. I occasionally gave a little something more when I was feeling especially guilty. And I always gave monthly, in cash, so people saw me put large bills in the plate.
The first Fall after Johanna and I became members at Our Saviour's, we were asked to pledge, a specific amount of our money, and our time & talent for the year. It was expected that we honor that pledge. I figured we could do that. I could give lots of time and little or no money and things would be fine. So we decided that ten bucks a week was sufficient.
And I was proud of our family that first year that we fulfilled our pledge. Yet it really wasn't a challenge; it didn't stretch us in the least. So we decided that we would do the same the next year and maybe throw in some extra money on special days or help pay for flowers.
Then I became the treasurer and I started learning about giving expectations. That was the first time that I heard about this "tithing thing" B giving 10% back to God.
Of course, my first question from a personal perspective was: 10% of what? My gross? My Net? Before or after we paid the mortgage and put food on the table? And where did my endless medical expenses fit into the picture? And did the whole 10% have to go to God directly through the church? Or could I give some to other worthwhile organizations?
Following my usual pattern, I began to explore this tithing thing. I looked up all the references in the Bible. And I prayed about it. I checked on the internet. And I prayed about it. I talked to other people. And I prayed some more about it.
And no matter how I looked at it; I kept coming back to the same thing: God expected me to "give up" 10%.
I talked with clergy about it, hoping maybe I had misunderstood something or maybe the Bible translation was corrupted. And what I was told was pretty consistent across the board. Yup, it's expected. And then, when I was called to the team, a part of the discernment process for me was answering the question: could I live up to the expectation that team members and all clergy are expected to tithe? So, I prayed even more about it.
Then I heard about the resolution adopted at general convention in 1988 where the House of Bishops affirmed the tithe as the minimum standard of giving for Episcopalians. Now I was really worried. So I prayed even harder.
Suddenly, there was a glimmer of hope. I learned that we could begin slowly and work toward tithing as a goal. Take 3-4 years and see if we could do it. Increase slowly and see what happened.
I thought; O.K.; we could maybe try that. And so it began. When Johanna and I first looked at the budget and tried to figure out where to start, we couldn't find any room in the budget. At that point 62% of our joint income was spent for my medical expenses. And Johanna's sister was paying part of my insurance premiums - no strings attached.
So another question arose: does disability income or fixed income count? And what about the little bit of capital that we already had tucked away before we started trying to tithe? And did the interest on that capital count too?
I was trying my darndest to make this less painful. So we sat down again and looked at the budget. After a lot of praying, we cut and pared and decided we could make a pledge of 2% for one year. We would try it and see how it went.
And then we started giving extra for little things like flowers, special collections, discretionary fund, and other things. By the end of the year it totaled almost 5%. AND we hadn't even felt particularly deprived.
As I wrote the check each month, thinking about what I might have to give up because of it, I was sort of resenting it.
But one day, as I was writing the check for our monthly pledge I realized that something had changed. A shift had happened in my thinking and in my heart. The Spirit must have gotten in through some crack.
Instead, on that day, I found myself thinking about how happy I was to give back to God. And I was shocked to discover that it wasn't about "giving up" or "turning over" but about giving back. And it felt good and right and holy to honor and thank God for all the gifts of my life including life itself.
So the next year, we decided to just jump to the full 10%; to offer to God, in thanksgiving, a small token of all that we were blessed with. That didn't mean that it all went to the church, though most of it did. Some went to other Christian charities or places like the Heifer Project. We told our families that Christmas gifts would be less and different. We gave up one vacation a year. We found ways to save: by waiting to rent movies rather than go to the theater, by buying mostly used clothing, by avoiding bookstores because they were our worst downfall, and by just trying to do more with less.
And it worked! How it worked, we don't know.
Then the economy took a down turn. And we were already committed to a regular pledge and a pledge for the building fund. We were scared. So together we prayed and decided we would just keep giving at the same rate.
Johanna hasn't seen a raise in salary from her nonprofit employer for quite a few years. Her medical insurance costsrecently doubled and the coverage became less. We still live below the federal poverty level. We had to remortgage the house to buy a van with a wheel chair lift (on eBay) so I could continue to serve God's people here and in the community. And still we lack nothing.
This year we can't take an extended vacation, so we are making do with long weekends or day trips. And we seem to want for less, we feel richer and more blessed than we ever have. Now, without even knowing it or how it happened, we have already given more than 17% this year!
We have food and shelter and a good life. I have the care I need to continue to live at home and serve God as I am able. We have family; our youngest comes home to do her laundry and empties the refrigerator and freezer; and somehow, we have the money to pay for her gas to get back to school.
The oil gets changed in our cars when it needs to. When the house needs to be washed, it happens. When the stove needs to be fixed, it is. The bills are paid on time. We share our wealth with others. We pray more, we celebrate more, we are thankful for so much more.
How does it work? It shouldn't.
But the more thankful we become, the easier it becomes to share what we have as a way of offering our thanks to God.
Each year, I am called to account. Whether it is by a treasurer or a finance committee or a stewardship drive, I must be held accountable. As Christians we accept that responsibility and accountability.
God will love me whether I give or not. God will not love me any more for giving nor any less for withholding. It's not about buying God's love. We are all called by God to give back out of thankfulness and with cheerful hearts for the bounty he bestows upon us.
O.K., so if at first it doesn't feel cheerful, then pretend. Because we are proof that, in time, it will feel good and right and holy. If we are not occasionally stretched in our giving, are we growing in faith and mission? God doesn't ask for the extra. God asks for the up-front money. And then God asks that we trust.
Live into your abundance. Speak of your abundance. Share of your abundance. All of it comes to us through God.
When I am thankful and I offer my life and my all to God first; then, my heart and mind open easily to the joy of knowing God's love more fully.
When I give back to God and God's people from my great wealth, I know that I am doing what God through Scripture has asked of me.
Such a blessing this "tithing thing" has become! My relationship with God is deeper. My life is more complete. I know the joy of returning to God from all of the bounty God has bestowed upon me. I don't think of giving as paying God back. How could I ever pay God back for sending and sacrificing his own Son to redeem me from my sin? I cannot. And I don't need to.
Like my "foster family" and Johanna's sister, I can give with no expectation or thought of what my return might be. And now, I know what a gift they gave me! I am free to make a choice to share my joy about God's daily gifts in my life.
I choose with gladness to give to God from the unending generosity and love that has been bestowed upon me.
I hope, pray and believe that it can be that way for all of us. Amen.