Note: Presenters are on stage with a large (16'x20'?) screen displaying a powerpoint presentation of the pictures. Photo download may take a while. Stage directions are in italics.
My name is Pat and I am the Pseudobishop of Lake Wobegon,
properly and affectionately referred to as
the WRONG Reverend Gillespie.
There are lots of Episcopal Churches in Lake Wobegon. They're the tiny churches of 12 to 20 people that you'd never hear about or see, unless you happen to get lost on the way to the lake.
We're the churches that find consolation in the promise that God is with us whenever 2 or 3 gather in Jesus' name.
(Team ministers from all over the diocese begin to sneak on stage behind Pat.)
In Lake Wobegon we suspect that those numbers might be a maximum not a minimum for God's presence. Jesus did just fine with a small group and so do we.
But it hasn't been a quiet year in Lake Wobegon. We've always been the place where all the clergy are strong (flexes muscles) and the lay folk good looking (points to assembly) . But now there's this new TOTAL MINISTRY thing. And things are CHANGING!
I used to have this nice, well-behaved, 130-year-old church.
And then suddenly everything began to crumble around me.
No more good old days, when the people stayed in the pews and the clergy stood upfront.
Suddenly everyone's running around and we're open to the world and it's problems.
People get all these newfangled ideas about everyone being a minister.
But I want to say: Oh no you don't.
I went off to seminary to learn to do all that stuff. You can't do it.
We know how it's supposed to be in the church:
"Father knows best!" Uh.... well, maybe "Mother" does too.
I can do it all for you: the preaching, the praying, the furnace, and the planning. That's what I'm here for. And, oh, I try to hold on to the good old days of the church. I hold tight to my duct-taped prayer book. And just look at me! I even dress like a proper nineteenth-century cleric.
( Team ministers point and make fun.)
But it doesn't help.
Somehow the TOTAL MINISTRY stuff
makes people think that a little thing like baptism qualifies them to do MY job.
What is all this fuss about baptismal ministry?
(Team ministers on stage do "Standing O" -- a silent standing ovation, holding their arms in a circle around their heads.)
It's as if with their baptism they suddenly became holy and grew halos!
But we're a church with neat and clear orders.
The lay order with everyone who is baptized.
And then those of us who get ordained have HOLY orders: bishop, priest and deacon.So, just who do these TOTAL MINISTRY people think they are?
(Team continually ad-libs behind cleric's back.)
They get baptized, and they look at each other, and they see the Body of Christ. You know, all that stuff that Paul wrote about body parts all being needed? They look at themselves, and they see gifts the Spirit has given them. And they call each other to ministry, to fit into the Body of Christ. We want this one for a preacher and that one for an evangelist. And him over there to visit us in the hospital. And her to stand at the altar. Together they seem to have all the gifts they need to do the work I was given to do. Suddenly they've got me sharing the things I learned in seminary. And then I'm the one being blessed.
And these regular people in that ordinary lay order are doing priestly work.
And, I confess, they often minister rather better than I could do myself.
They begin synchronize their ministries, to function almost as one body.
Of course it helps that their mentor had a previous career as a synchronized swimming coach.
I haven't told them yet, but this is part of our new evangelism plan.
We're going to do a synchronized swimming routine called "Remember your baptism!"
– we'll tour with the Lake Wobegon water ski team,
watch for us on tour at your lake soon!
(Actually with that nice star theme, we might do a show at Epiphany.
It's easier to stay on top of the lake then.)
(Team acts out synchronized stuff ... dancing?)
Total Ministry is FUN. It's contagious. The Spirit is catching. Even those of us in the more well behaved and holy orders got a bit excited and started dancing in church.
At least they're dancing out in their proper liturgical order.
The bishop is at the end of the line.
For TOTAL MINISTRY it's no surprise that the clergy are all
following the lay people as they follow the Spirit.
(Projection switches to live images of people on stage. Canon Missioners for Total Ministry and Bishop Putnam join the crowd on stage. )
The Spirit is alive and well and living in Lake Wobegon. And other places too. The Holy Spirit is notorious for hanging around in desert places, so it's no surprise the TOTAL MINISTRY got it's start in cold and lonely places. The Upper Peninsula of Michigan and the Diocese of Alaska have been growing total ministry churches for years.
(Ministers cheer for churches as announced.)
And here in Minnesota we have TOTAL MINISTRY teams in action:
from Hermantown and Cloquet and Hinckley,
down to today's home team at Chatfield.
There are teams in formation in
the Spirit of the Heartland, including
Sauk Centre,
Little Falls,
Paynesville,
Saint Cloud.
And teams developing in Marshall, Luverne, International Falls,
and now, all up and down the Mississippi River Valley.
We're still an ordered church. My seminary training and formation is essential to all that I do. And my ordination is essential to all that I am. Total Ministry needs seminary-trained priests for support and formation. But seminary and ordination is not what makes ministers, not even pseudobishops. It's baptism that makes ministers.
(Team comes up to pat)
Oh .... are you sure you're ready to do this priestly ministry?
(Team signals affirmative)
(Pat reads from Baptismal Covenant in Prayer Book and all respond.)
Will you continue in the apostles' teaching and
fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the
prayers ?
All respond: We will, with God's help.
(Pat hands Prayer Book to Team Ministers and Canon-9 Priests Art from Cloquet and Alice from Chatfield continue the Baptismal Covenant. Pat moves to stand with Canon Missioners and Bishop supporting the team ministers.)
Art: Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever
you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?
All respond: We will, with God's help.
Alice: Will you proclaim by word and example the Good
News of God in Christ?
All respond: We will, with God's help.
Art: Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving
your neighbor as yourself?
All respond: We will, with God's help.
Alice: Will you strive for justice and peace among all
people, and respect the dignity of every human
being?
All respond: We will, with God's help.
Bill from Chatfield:
We are living our baptismal covanant.
Antonia from Paynesville:
And we invite you all to minister with us.
Bob from Hermantown:
The Episcopal Church in Minnesota: Where all the baptized are strong AND holy.
Pat and Canon Missioners Sandi and Steve and Bishop Fred in unison:
And all the clergy are good looking!
(Everyone waves and leaves stage.)
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